[Series] The Evolution Continues - Sex, Love, Family | Episode 2
Find the Father! Infanticide and the Unaccounted Co-conspirators Where Have All the Fathers Gone? January 1, 2024
"I think it's absolutely outrageous that so many young men in our society feel they can go out, get women pregnant, allow them to have children, make them bring them up by themselves often on benefits and then just disappear." This was a statement made by David Davies, a former member of the UK Parliament. He further asserted, "It is utterly shocking and I hope that the ministers will take note of this and get hold of some of these feckless fathers, drag them off, make them work, put them in chains if necessary, make them work and make them pay back to society for the cost of bringing up the children they chose to bring into this world." Davies' remarks were highlighted in The Guardian's opinion section on November 13, 2013, ten years ago. While his words may seem extreme, UK's Poor Law of 1576 actually enforced such measures, even resorting to flogging fathers who neglected their support obligations. Columnist Ally Fogg commented, "When it comes to absent fathers who could afford to support their children and opt not to, out of selfishness, spite or manipulative motives, I will happily join David Davies MP [...]" However, he criticized the fact that "there was no suggestion that these hypothetical young fathers should be actively involved in the raising and caring for their children, physically, emotionally or psychologically. No suggestion they should be anything other than a cash cow." To Fogg, this perpetuates the "patriarchal model of the family with a male breadwinner and female nurturer." He concluded by stating, "In an ideal world, there would rarely be need for child support, because fathers and mothers would, where possible, be equally involved in every aspect of the caring and upbringing of their children." The deaths of undocumented infants that came to light in our society last year shocked and disheartened us all. But even more disturbing is the persistent narrative that the right to grant or take away life rests solely on mothers. Headlines such as "Mother who abandoned her 6-day-old baby," "Mother who buried her newborn daughter," and "Mother who handed her baby to someone she met online," single out the mother as the sole responsible party and criminal in these tragic deaths. These reports completely ignore the father's role, who shares equal responsibility for bringing the baby into the world and ensuring its well-being. Erasing the presence of the accomplice is akin to concealing a criminal. Therefore, media outlets that fail to highlight the father's role, allowing them to escape accountability, are also complicit. Where was the father while the mother, who carried the baby for ten months and brought it to lie, had no choice but to throw, bury, or abandon the baby? In the 16th century England, the community would have relentlessly pursued the father, subjecting him to flogging. While such measures are not possible today, the media should at least include a single line in their reports to remind us that behind every murdered baby stands not only the mother but also the father, the local community, and ultimately, the state. Without this acknowledgement of the entire chain of responsibility connected to a child's upbringing, resolving the issues of child abuse and infanticide will be an uphill battle. Families are becoming more diverse, and no one disputes the right of everyone to form a family. However, the responsibility of raising children does not rest solely with married couples. A biological mother and father are both integral to the birth of a child, and their responsibilities, obligations, and rights concerning the child should always be regarded with equal importance. When they fail to fulfill these duties or are unable to do so, isn't that when the state and society step in to fill the gap? Yet, in 2023, rather than supporting parents in fulfilling their responsibilities and raising their children well, the Korean society passed the "Protected Birth Bill," allowing mothers to legally abandon their babies. This is a sad reality. 
▲ The poster of the film Scrapper © Scrapper The film Scrapper, released the same year as the "Protected Birth Bill," was refreshing in that it brought a young, immature father back into the realm of childcare. As David Davies noted, the father in the movie 'went out, got a woman pregnant, and then disappeared.' The film ends with the young father returning as a caregiver after the mother's death, awkwardly but slowly connecting with the child. I hope for a similar positive shift in our society in 2024. I hope that heartbreaking incidents like child abuse and infanticide become a thing of the past. But in the unlikely event that such tragedies do occur, I hope instead of easily resorting to identifying the “mother” as the sole culprit, we recognize that many others share responsibility for the child's upbringing and summon them to the scene of child-rearing. ----------------------------------------------------------------- This column, written by Hee Jung Kwon, director of UMI4AA, was adapted from an article published on OhmyNews on January 2, 2024. "Find the Father! Infanticide and the Unaccounted Co-conspirators" - OhmyNews (ohmynews.com) |
